We Eat LA

American Reunion

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 07:32:16 -0700

A great and peculiar thing happened to me recently. My good friends were promoting in Europe the upcoming release of the movie they wrote and directed (“American Reunion” - go out and see it) and asked if I wanted to come along for a week.

Not wanting to turn down the prospect of eating mildly psychedelic truffles in Amsterdam or watching american movies expertly dubbed into German, I of course said yes.

As a result, I was able to sample some of the best ice cream I’ve ever had - in Zurich, Switzerland. Extra creamy, extra flavorful, extra wonderful.

Movenpick Ice Cream Gallery, Theaterstrasse 8, 8001 Zurich, Switzerland, +41 43 268 04 20.

Gentrification in plaid

Sat, 10 Mar 2012 17:43:56 -0800

This is a wonderful place to discuss your latest mid-career transition or alternatively lament how public schools in Los Angeles are subpar. In other words, it reeks of a mid-30’s yuppie watering hole. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Since the bar only serves wine and beer, L&E is unfortunately also a terrible place to grab a cocktail, but its attributes outweigh the lack of rye whiskey options.

The oysters casino are great and the staff is attentive and friendly. Come with a small group and finish your night at Barbrix or the Red Lion Tavern.

L&E Oyster Bar, 1637 Silver Lake Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90026, (323) 660-2255

Delicious

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 22:05:30 -0800

I don’t know much about wine, but I was fortunate to recently get a few bottles of this Spanish gem, Flor de Pingus. Its fantastic. And also pricey. But the quality/price quotient makes it worthwhile.

Not friendly for the paleo-diet

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 22:01:30 -0800

Think you’d like to know how much gruyere cheese and butter are in a croque monsieur sandwich?

No, actually you don’t. Shut up and just eat the sandwich. It’s easy enough that even an incompetent bachelor can draw one up in his apartment without too much effort. If you have some whole milk, a little flour, gruyere and parmesan cheese, nutmeg, butter and pepper, you can quickly make the crucial bechamel sauce in a sautee pan over low heat.

Hipsters and Koreans

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 01:56:27 -0800

I have found the nexus of Silverlake and Koreatown. It is the new gastropub “Beer Belly” on Western Avenue. Every single patron was wearing a plaid shirt or was Korean…or both. Also, every single dish either had a pork product in or had some sort of maple accent or glaze. Amazing for those of us with pig deficiencies in our diet.

Beer Belly, 532 S. Western Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90020, (213) 387-2337.

Start with breakfast

Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:43:07 -0800

I can’t cook for shit, but like any man, I can make breakfast. A heart attack-inducing breakfast, that is. Try a poached egg, scallions and pepper on pulled pork on freshly baked corn bread. Don’t forget the cholesterol meds.

We live in a fickle eating culture

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 08:58:40 -0800

We live in a fickle eating culture:

Angeli Caffe on Melrose Avenue will be closing after many, many years of providing reasonably priced, high quality casual Italian fare. Fuck, I will miss those gnochetti balls.

This closure on the heels of the imminent closure of Charlie Trotter’s in Chicago later this year (which I have not yet experienced) is starting 2012 on an ignominious streak.

Donde puedo encontrar un buen brunch?

Sun, 20 Nov 2011 16:35:16 -0800

I’ve been in a brunch rut lately. I’m tired of the same old places. It’s been like watching the fourth “Police Academy” movie…how many times can I enjoy Steve Guttenberg’s zany antics?

I apologize for that last comment. I’ll never turn on you again, Eugene Tackleberry. I love every Police Academy movie, including and especially “Citizens on Patrol”, although the notion of Cadet Tomoko sleeping on a bed of sharpened needles is still quasi-racist.

Usually I greet Mexican/Latin American fusion restaurants with skepticism. In fact, I usually call bullshit. However, Playa offers really delicious brunch offerings with enough inventiveness that stops just short of straying too far from the familiarity of breakfast comfort cuisine. The maize cake Jewish was a nice, above-average starter that whets the appetite for the corn custard and squash blossom flan, jalapeno waffles with pepita salsa, and eggs benedict with chipotle bearnaise sauce. Wash it down with a couple of pisco sours and a RYE WHISKEY spicy bloody mary, and you can roll home just in time for the afternoon NFL game.

This is currently my favorite brunch place in L.A.

Playa, 7360 Beverly Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90036, (323) 933-5300

In defense of colonialism

Sun, 13 Nov 2011 20:16:21 -0800

The French occupation of Vietnam ended in the mid-twentieth century. Despite that anyone who talks about “positive externalities” of colonialism would likely be branded an asshole, I have to admit uniting French baguettes with Vietnamese pork to create banh mi sandwiches is one of the greatest positive externalities of modern times. A close second is Vietnamese coffee.

This was the precursor to the current phenomenon of throwing anything remotely “Asiany” on a baguette and feeding it to the public. I fully support this trend. Behold, an “Asian Sloppy Joe” on a French baguette at the Spice Table. It packs a spicy punch both to your taste buds and your stomach. Yes, those are bonus french fries as a topping.

The Spice Table, 114 S Central Avenue, Downtown Los Angeles 90012, (213) 620-1840.

Steel City, baby

Thu, 13 Oct 2011 21:06:56 -0700

I had a great time visiting my mom, dad, sisters, nieces and nephew last week in my hometown of Pittsburgh. The weather was beautiful, the view from the Duquesne incline was spectacular, and good times were had by all. Unfortunately, in the south hills of Pittsburgh, house affordability and good public schools are also supplanted by a general lack of food options.

My sister Sandy: “Would it kill this suburb to put in like, a Chipotle or something? Jeez.”

Me: “I would give my left testicle for a mozzarella bar or an oyster shooter right now.”

Ok, I didn’t really mention my left testicle to my sister (that would be weird), but you get my point. The suburbs of Pittsburgh are not a mecca to progressive dining. However, this isn’t to say that people don’t try. When taking the kids to a local farm for the hay rides, I came upon a “pulled pork parfait”. I didn’t try it since I was in a rush, but I am always intrigued when people try to substitute ice cream, chocolate syrup and a cherry with pulled pork, mashed potatoes, and…well, a cherry.

Later that night I dreamt about it and felt deep remorse for not ordering it.

Trax Farms, 528 Trax Road, Finleyville, PA 15332, (412) 835-3246.

Duquesne Incline, 1197 West Carson Street, Pittsburgh, PA 15219.

The Germans are coming...again...and welcome this time

Sat, 27 Aug 2011 20:34:17 -0700

Michael Lewis has an excellent piece in Vanity Fair where he hypothesizes about elements of the German national psyche. To cut to the chase, he claims that the Germans’ unconscious affinity for excrement explains a number of their national characteristics, including fiscal and monetary policy.

Um, ok. Whatever. I don’t know about the excrement part, but I do know that I’ve been looking for a German beer and sausage house that is closer to my apartment than Wurstkuche. Voila, we have Wirtshaus. While Wirtshaus is not exactly in the same league as Wurstkuche downtown, it is a splendid place to grab a mid-day beer, pretzel, and schnitzel sandwich.

Germany is now being asked by the rest of Europe to bail it out. On the other hand, I merely asked it to supply me with a mid-town sausage and beer garden. Maybe Europe should start with small requests first. Germany is good with fulfilling those. Just a thought.

Whew!

Wirtshaus, 345 N La Brea Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90036, (323) 931-9291

My Favorite Coffee in Los Angeles Right Now

Sat, 20 Aug 2011 19:23:48 -0700

El Colmao is a great place to grab a thin, Cuban fried steak and plantains. I’m not sure why anybody goes to Versailles. On an interesting note, this place randomly has my favorite cup of joe: a sweetened macchiato. Perfect to get me through the work day.

El Colmao, 2328 W Pico Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90006, (213) 386-6131.

My Favorite Thing to Eat These Days

Wed, 03 Aug 2011 23:50:12 -0700

The spaghetti and clams at Sotto. I promise you it does not suck.

Three's Company

Thu, 21 Jul 2011 00:03:28 -0700

Sorry I haven’t updated this blog in awhile. I’ve been busy watching “Sherlock” on the BBC, which is a modern adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s supersleuth. Leave it to the Brits to combine serial killing with math conundrums. It’s like hard core porn sprinkled with extra addictive methamphetamine for nerds.

Speaking of life-wasting television programming, it dawned on me after watching the four thousandth repeat of “Friends” that sitcom pals always live in the same building.When is the last time you lived in the same building as a close friend of yours? College? Never? What the fuck? The entire cast of “Three’s Company” lived in the same 90 foot radius. It never happens - unless you happen to be eating at Picca, the newest L.A. arrival of Peruvian cuisine extraordinaire (this blog has already profiled Mo-Chica and Chimu).

Picca is located right upstairs from its Italian foil, Sotto (also profiled on this blog). Its building is officially the 227 of west L.A. eateries.

The place was jam packed when I went on a Wednesday night at 9 pm. The food was worth eating four inches away from complete strangers. The highlights: conchas a la parmesana (scallops with parmesan and spinach), the rocoto/aji amarillo/sea urchin shooters, the duck leg with cilantro rice, and chicharron de costillas.

My god. Great meal. Come after prime-time hours if you want to hear your dinner companions or yourself think. And bring a friend - perhaps one that lives in your building.

Picca, 9575 West Pico Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90035, (310) 277-0133.

Nice try, but slight fail

Sun, 19 Jun 2011 22:09:09 -0700

Some of you may not know that soft tofu, one of my favorite things on earth, is a bean curd made from emulsifying soy milk until it becomes solid in its coagulated form.

At Jinya Robata, you can order the “organic” tofu that puts the emulsification process right at your dinner doorstep.

10 points for creativity, I have to admit…but the child in me still yearns for the version that has had a little more time to catch its breath…a little more time to embrace its firmer, cubic form. This drive-in movie version was a little sloppy. But the food at Jinya otherwise is quite good.

Jinya Robata, 8050 W 3rd Street, Los Angeles, CA 90048, (323) 653-8877.

Dear white people: do not fear the lengua

Thu, 26 May 2011 22:56:03 -0700

Good-natured white guy behind me in line for Chimu (the new Peruvian downtown rival to Mo-Chica): “Hmm, should we get lamb shank or tongue?”

Other good-natured white guy next to him: “Ew, tongue? I’m going with the lamb shank.”

And there you have it folks. The caucasian fear of beef tongue, front and center. Now, to the friend’s credit, he professed his own love for lengua so at least I can superficially entertain the notion that I’m simply being racist here.

But I’ve seen it time and time again. Are some muscle organs simply off limits? Do people equate tongue to testicles? Is it the unconscious association with the muscle organ most us relate to bad french kissing or Jabba the Hut?

I don’t know and I don’t care. I’m taking a stand here against consumptive close mindedness. Er, at least next time I’m taking a stand. This time I got a pork and cheese pupusa from Sarita’s and the lamb shank from Chimu. It was fucking delicious.

Chimu and Sarita’s Papuseria, Grand Central Market, 317 S Broadway, Los Angeles, CA 90013

Sea of humanity

Sun, 22 May 2011 15:09:22 -0700

Third Street east of La Cienega is getting crowded as shit. Lots of new eateries amidst taxpayer-subsidized urban development programs. One of these new places is a really tiny, casual pizza joint called Olio.

Pretty decent pizzas (no beer or wine served yet), although despite the waiter’s protestations to the contrary, the burrata was added a little too early to the burrata margherita, resulting in the loss of the crucial cold texture that I crave so much. I had much better luck with the eggplant pie.

Olio Pizzeria and Cafe, 8075 W 3rd Street, Los Angeles, CA 90048, (323) 930-9490.

More carbs, please

Thu, 19 May 2011 19:18:20 -0700

Two of the very best things at Sotto, a new Italian restaurant located a mere mile away from my apartment and the Fox network lot, are not pictured below amongst the sardines with fennel and crushed olive-pistachio vinaigrette or the highly regarded casarecce (braised lamb ragu, egg and pecorino).

No no, my friends - two of the very best things I tasted here are the chickpea panelle and the spaghetti with clams and zucchini.

Both of these items have a few things in common: they both radiate the illusion of being simple and light. They are neither. Their brilliance and complexity is in their simple presentation, but the facade belies their robust flavor and texture.

Frankly, I could have eaten three tubs of the pasta. The darker casarecce was tasty, but in a bout of reverse-starch jungle fever, I found myself being drawn toward the lighter spaghetti.

I’m sure there is an additional racial metaphor in here somewhere, but I’ll let it go.

Sotto, 9575 Pico Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90035, (310) 277-0210.

Let's revisit the LA County "A" ratings, shall we?

Thu, 19 May 2011 18:52:33 -0700

When people alternately describe a restaurant as having both “great food” and also being in kind of a “dumpy area”, you know for a fact I am going to kow-tow it immediately to such a place. The City of Angels is built upon such eateries: sublime omakase sushi joints located in barren strip malls, great Chinese haunts located in nondescript Alhambran bomb shelters, and the world’s best pastrami sandwiches located on possibly the crappiest block in town.

Sultan Chicken is no different. It has an “A” health rating, but I’m not quite sure how. I’m also not quite sure I care.

This is not a place to take a first date. However, this is an excellent place to take a fourteenth date. The rotisserie chicken here is on par with Zankou’s - try the #1 special with the garlic sauce. It is moist, delicious and the skin is glowing to perfection. My colleague also tried the chicken provencal (or is it provencial?) special with eggplant, which was lauded with personal accolades.

I’m coming back here soon, because I’m tired of schlepping to Hollywood for a good garlic chicken. Also, no need to bring a jacket on a cool spring day - its like 86 degrees in the shop. Try to snag a table outside amongst the Downtown riff raff.

Sultan, 311 W 6th Street, Downtown Los Angeles, CA 90014, (213) 236-0604.

I might hurl

Sun, 15 May 2011 16:05:57 -0700

Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino in any non-“Heat” movie.

Expensive furniture and little children.

Jean shorts/sandals/tank tops and any guy.

These are things that are independently non-offensive, but nauseating when thrown together.

You can add a “John O’Groats bacon and cheddar biscuit” and the “Santa Monica stairs workout” to the list as well.

John O’Groats, 10516 West Pico Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90064, (310) 204-0692.