Los Angeles is crazy
With apologies to Ernest Hemingway and to anyone reading this for making a reference to a book nobody read, including myself, but Paris is not a moveable feast - Los Angeles is.
In the last 8 hours (spanning from late last night through my commute this morning), I have personally witnessed: 1) a dead body on a park bench surrounded by 3 LAPD blue bloods on 8th and Alvarado; 2) a woman walking down the street completely naked and simultaneously streaming diarrhea down her left leg on 7th and Alvarado; and 3) Terrell Owens, Paris Hilton and McLovin from Superbad cavorting with hundreds of skinny, Hollywood-ish models at a Victoria’s Secret: What is Sexy? party held at the W Hollywood Hotel.
L.A. is an interesting place. Now, let’s dispatch with the obvious questions first. Harold, did you see Miranda Kerr? Harold, did you try to talk to any models? Harold, were you successful on any level? Harold, what kind of food did they serve at such a party?
My answers: No, Yes, emphatic No, and mini sprinkles cupcakes.
Even though they were miniature, I did not see a single model eat a single cupcake. I had seven. Bon appetit and god bless the city of angels.
p.s. I don’t see what the big fucking deal is with Sprinkles cupcakes. Are they good? Yes. Do they warrant the ridiculously long lines outside their store? NO. Is it obvious how much I hate people who have time to wait an hour and a half for a cupcake in Beverly Hills on a Tuesday afternoon? Yes. DISCLAIMER: the photos are stock footage because the party was poorly lit.
p.p.s. i had an avocado cheeseburger from Astroburger at 2 am because apparently the miniature cupcakes were not filling enough.
