Angelini Osteria (www.angeliniosteria.com)
I had the crappiest, most stomach-churning flag-bearing standard of mediocre Chinese takeout yesterday. And who do I have to thank for leading me astray with a 4-star rating?
That’s right. Yelp.com. Fuck Yelp.com. Here is an excerpt of one of the reviews: “[NAME REDACTED] has food just as good as some of the provinces I’ve visited in China!!”
I’m sorry, what province exactly did you visit before making this specious proclamation? West Diarrhea? Acid-Reflux Valley? Yelp needs to seriously consider getting rid of some of the turds who waste everyone’s time with their shitty reviews.
Thankfully Yelp’s review of Angelini Osteria was actually accurate. Come sit down in this cozy Italian restaurant, and enjoy being served by a waiter who is a dead ringer for Furio from the Sopranos. While eating my lasagne verde (covered in amazing dried, thinly crispy spinach leaves) I thought Furio was going to hit me in the face with a golf club and yell at me to “pay him his fucking money before I break your face”. Thankfully he happily served me an order of very simply-prepared sea bass that was cooked in an encrustation of sea-salt. Yum. The problem with this place is that you will want to try approximately two more dishes than your appetite or wallet will probably allow. It’s difficult to go wrong here. I also thoroughly enjoyed their affogado dessert - it has just the right amount of expresso. So next time you’re in the mood for food that is actually reflective of the rating it receives from online review aggregators, come stop by this cozy stalwart on Beverly Boulvard’s restaurant row. - H. Lee
Angelini Osteria, 7313 Beverly Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90036, (323) 297-0070
