My Pittsburgh Steelers lost Super Bowl XLV this past weekend to the Green Bay Packers. I’m in mourning. What better way to mourn than to partially revive my blog with an entry about a restaurant in Chicago?
Of course, referring to Alinea as a “restaurant in Chicago” is equivalent to calling the Louvre a “museum in France” or to the USS Enterprise as just another “Galaxy class Federation starship”. If you appreciated that last reference, please just save us all a shitload of time and kill yourself right now. Congrats, you’re a huge dork. Never mind that I didn’t have to look that Star Trek tidbit up.
I strolled into this place with D.C. for our 5:45 p.m. seating. What’s that, you say? Only your 92 year old grandmother eats dinner at 5:45 in the afternoon? Sorry gents, this is the only time we could get without having to donate my last kidney. My first kidney went to Jose Andres’ coke dealer for an order of cotton candy foie gras. Plus, your meal here will last 3-4 hours anyway.
I’d like to personally thank Alinea for having a classy, understated exterior decor to the point D.C. and I almost froze to death outside looking for it. After being efficiently and swiftly seated in an equally unassuming upstairs dining room, I surveyed our dinner neighbors. Originally, given the high profile of this establishment, I assumed we would be surrounded by people who worry about the maintenance costs of their Gulfstream jets. However, I believe many Alinea customers, like us, were simply people who love to eat and were willing to set aside a “special occasion” fund to indulge in truly sublime eating experiences. I base this conclusion on no scientific evidence whatsoever. Perhaps they’re obtuse, overprivileged assholes. But I didn’t get that vibe.
The meal itself almost defies description. It consists of 15 courses. I suggest at least some form of wine pairing - it doesn’t have to be a full wine pairing, but a total of 2-3 glasses for the full experience is probably the right amount. Not every course will hit. But when it hits, and it often does, it hits big.
I thought the edible cocktail starters were a nice touch and emblematic of how this restaurant not only focuses on the “what” but equally on the “how” - how should this be eaten, how should this be presented, and how should this defy some sort of taken-for-granted convention while simultaneously embracing tradition? Everything from the frozen yuzu flakes presented on a chilled, concave glass to the chocolate, honey and peanut dessert spread on a styrofoam mat, Alinea pushes the boundaries of how food should be eaten. I personally enjoy eating fried concoctions from delicate stems and being presented with a plate of ghost-white varietals and simply being told “everything on this plate used to be black at one point in its existence”.
The golden trout roe with dijon, rutabaga and grapefruit may be one of the most amazing things I’ve ever eaten - ever. The flag presentation of cherry-red thin pasta sheets to encase your self-made bourgeois tacos was a nice touch. The black truffle with parmesan and short rib with olive, red wine and blackberry appeal to every last inch of your tastebuds.
D.C. felt horrified when she found out the bill, but the horror is unfounded. I think this place is worth every dime. While we have entered the age of comfort food and anti-Michelin star niceties, I think there is always a place for an old-school establishment that offers other-worldly, wildly innovative cuisine with impeccable service and a proper coat-and-tie attitude. Although I’ll be good with macaroni and cheese for the next few weeks.
Alinea Restaurant, 1723 North Halstead Street, Chicago, IL 60614, (312) 867-0110.
