March 2012
2 posts
American Reunion
A great and peculiar thing happened to me recently. My good friends were promoting in Europe the upcoming release of the movie they wrote and directed (“American Reunion” - go out and see it) and asked if I wanted to come along for a week.
Not wanting to turn down the prospect of eating mildly psychedelic truffles in Amsterdam or watching american movies expertly dubbed into German,...
Gentrification in plaid
This is a wonderful place to discuss your latest mid-career transition or alternatively lament how public schools in Los Angeles are subpar. In other words, it reeks of a mid-30’s yuppie watering hole. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Since the bar only serves wine and beer, L&E is unfortunately also a terrible place to grab a cocktail, but its attributes outweigh the lack of rye...
February 2012
1 post
Delicious
I don’t know much about wine, but I was fortunate to recently get a few bottles of this Spanish gem, Flor de Pingus. Its fantastic. And also pricey. But the quality/price quotient makes it worthwhile.
January 2012
4 posts
Not friendly for the paleo-diet
Think you’d like to know how much gruyere cheese and butter are in a croque monsieur sandwich?
No, actually you don’t. Shut up and just eat the sandwich. It’s easy enough that even an incompetent bachelor can draw one up in his apartment without too much effort. If you have some whole milk, a little flour, gruyere and parmesan cheese, nutmeg, butter and pepper, you can...
Hipsters and Koreans
I have found the nexus of Silverlake and Koreatown. It is the new gastropub “Beer Belly” on Western Avenue. Every single patron was wearing a plaid shirt or was Korean…or both. Also, every single dish either had a pork product in or had some sort of maple accent or glaze. Amazing for those of us with pig deficiencies in our diet.
Beer Belly, 532 S. Western Avenue, Los...
Start with breakfast
I can’t cook for shit, but like any man, I can make breakfast. A heart attack-inducing breakfast, that is. Try a poached egg, scallions and pepper on pulled pork on freshly baked corn bread. Don’t forget the cholesterol meds.
We live in a fickle eating culture →
Angeli Caffe on Melrose Avenue will be closing after many, many years of providing reasonably priced, high quality casual Italian fare. Fuck, I will miss those gnochetti balls.
This closure on the heels of the imminent closure of Charlie Trotter’s in Chicago later this year (which I have not yet experienced) is starting 2012 on an ignominious streak.
November 2011
2 posts
Donde puedo encontrar un buen brunch?
I’ve been in a brunch rut lately. I’m tired of the same old places. It’s been like watching the fourth “Police Academy” movie…how many times can I enjoy Steve Guttenberg’s zany antics?
I apologize for that last comment. I’ll never turn on you again, Eugene Tackleberry. I love every Police Academy movie, including and especially “Citizens...
In defense of colonialism
The French occupation of Vietnam ended in the mid-twentieth century. Despite that anyone who talks about “positive externalities” of colonialism would likely be branded an asshole, I have to admit uniting French baguettes with Vietnamese pork to create banh mi sandwiches is one of the greatest positive externalities of modern times. A close second is Vietnamese coffee.
This was the...
October 2011
1 post
Steel City, baby
I had a great time visiting my mom, dad, sisters, nieces and nephew last week in my hometown of Pittsburgh. The weather was beautiful, the view from the Duquesne incline was spectacular, and good times were had by all. Unfortunately, in the south hills of Pittsburgh, house affordability and good public schools are also supplanted by a general lack of food options.
My sister Sandy: “Would...
August 2011
3 posts
The Germans are coming...again...and welcome this...
Michael Lewis has an excellent piece in Vanity Fair where he hypothesizes about elements of the German national psyche. To cut to the chase, he claims that the Germans’ unconscious affinity for excrement explains a number of their national characteristics, including fiscal and monetary policy.
Um, ok. Whatever. I don’t know about the excrement part, but I do know that I’ve...
My Favorite Coffee in Los Angeles Right Now
El Colmao is a great place to grab a thin, Cuban fried steak and plantains. I’m not sure why anybody goes to Versailles. On an interesting note, this place randomly has my favorite cup of joe: a sweetened macchiato. Perfect to get me through the work day.
El Colmao, 2328 W Pico Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90006, (213) 386-6131.
My Favorite Thing to Eat These Days
The spaghetti and clams at Sotto. I promise you it does not suck.
July 2011
1 post
Three's Company
Sorry I haven’t updated this blog in awhile. I’ve been busy watching “Sherlock” on the BBC, which is a modern adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s supersleuth. Leave it to the Brits to combine serial killing with math conundrums. It’s like hard core porn sprinkled with extra addictive methamphetamine for nerds.
Speaking of life-wasting television...
June 2011
1 post
Nice try, but slight fail
Some of you may not know that soft tofu, one of my favorite things on earth, is a bean curd made from emulsifying soy milk until it becomes solid in its coagulated form.
At Jinya Robata, you can order the “organic” tofu that puts the emulsification process right at your dinner doorstep.
10 points for creativity, I have to admit…but the child in me still yearns for the version...
May 2011
5 posts
Dear white people: do not fear the lengua
Good-natured white guy behind me in line for Chimu (the new Peruvian downtown rival to Mo-Chica): “Hmm, should we get lamb shank or tongue?”
Other good-natured white guy next to him: “Ew, tongue? I’m going with the lamb shank.”
And there you have it folks. The caucasian fear of beef tongue, front and center. Now, to the friend’s credit, he professed his own...
Sea of humanity
Third Street east of La Cienega is getting crowded as shit. Lots of new eateries amidst taxpayer-subsidized urban development programs. One of these new places is a really tiny, casual pizza joint called Olio.
Pretty decent pizzas (no beer or wine served yet), although despite the waiter’s protestations to the contrary, the burrata was added a little too early to the burrata margherita,...
More carbs, please
Two of the very best things at Sotto, a new Italian restaurant located a mere mile away from my apartment and the Fox network lot, are not pictured below amongst the sardines with fennel and crushed olive-pistachio vinaigrette or the highly regarded casarecce (braised lamb ragu, egg and pecorino).
No no, my friends - two of the very best things I tasted here are the chickpea panelle and the...
Let's revisit the LA County "A" ratings, shall we?
When people alternately describe a restaurant as having both “great food” and also being in kind of a “dumpy area”, you know for a fact I am going to kow-tow it immediately to such a place. The City of Angels is built upon such eateries: sublime omakase sushi joints located in barren strip malls, great Chinese haunts located in nondescript Alhambran bomb shelters, and the...
I might hurl
Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino in any non-“Heat” movie.
Expensive furniture and little children.
Jean shorts/sandals/tank tops and any guy.
These are things that are independently non-offensive, but nauseating when thrown together.
You can add a “John O’Groats bacon and cheddar biscuit” and the “Santa Monica stairs workout” to the list as well.
John...
April 2011
5 posts
I'm Getting Jaded
Years ago, I happened to make the superficial acquaintance of a Hollywood producer with a bit of a “reputation.” Not a reputation for artistry or problem-solving know-how, but rather one of a more lascivious nature: local legend had it that he had slept with so many women, he had reached the carnal tipping point. He no longer found the idea of sex to be that stimulating.
Um, what? I...
Bistro LQ closed down. Such a shame, I really... →
Bunk lists →
S. Pellegrino publishes an annual list of the world’s 50 best restaurants. There is also a link on the list for #51-100.
These lists should be viewed with acute skepticism, but they’re also fun to look at. It appears I have a bit of work to do, as I’ve only been to two restaurants in the top 50 (Alinea in Chicago and Momofuku in NYC). I figure I should be able to hit several...
Sort of like a Vegas buffet...but not really
Scarpetta’s Sunday brunch should be alternately called “Holy-Shit-This-Is-Expensive”.
Me: “Hey what do you want to eat?
Friend: “How about Holy-Shit-This-Is-Expensive?”
Me: “Is Holy-Shit-This-Is-Expensive the place with caramelized cauliflower and chicken fingers?”
Friend: “Yup.”
Me: “Cool. Shotgun.”
It is reminiscent...
I'm not really a cream puff guy, but...
Sawtelle Boulevard is great. Lot’s of good places to eat and to walk to on a warm, beautiful Saturday night, especially when you just want to retire early and have a good night’s rest afterwards.
Hide Sushi is not one of them. Why is there always a huge-ass line for this place? It’s the west side sushi equivalent of The Pantry in downtown Los Angeles. Every time I drive by...
March 2011
2 posts
An Ode to Los Angeles...via Port au Prince
Los Angeles still has the capacity to absolutely surprise you in delightful ways. The reservoir of culture in every amalgamation. The productivity of its working class. The architecture in its downtown core. And not to be outdone, the presence of great comfort food in unexpected settings.
I admit I did not expect much when I came upon Tigeorge’s Chicken, which specializes in...
Charlie Sheen has probably eaten here
In a bit of a drunken epiphany the night before, I decided to go to the Polo Lounge in the Beverly Hills Hotel for brunch the next morning with a friend. I am normally a little hesitant to frequent places that double as “Get Shorty” set pieces, but I have to say this place does at least two things right (at a premium):
1) the bloody mary’s are fabulous; and
2) the Caesar salad...
February 2011
5 posts
Happy birthday!
I write this post to commemorate three important events this past week: 1) the birth of Sara and Tim’s daughter (Evie, when you need a sketchy uncle to buy you wine coolers for your house party, hit me up); 2) Charlie Sheen’s amazing rants that ended up derailing Two and a Half Men for the rest of the season; and 3) the discovery of the most amazing Korean bbq pork ribs ever.
...
Let's go to the sausage and beer emporium, shall...
Wurstkuche looks like a weird, German hipster skateboard shop from the outside. Thankfully, its a hell of a lot cooler than that on the inside. Want a rattlesnake bratwurst? Ok fine, maybe that’s a little intense. Settle for a jalapeno and mango chicken sausage or bratwurst with sweet peppers and caramelized onions. Settle for the multiple tasty beers and Chimay on tap. Settle for the...
My next post will be a divey place, I swear
When you go to a fancy restaurant in the heart of Beverly Hills in the ground floor of a luxury hotel, the word “value” does not readily come to mind. And Scarpetta does absolutely nothing to dissuade me of this preconceived notion.
I mean, the place is literally smack-dab in the middle of the Nine-Oh-Two-One-Oh. Which makes me wonder, what the hell is Ian Ziering doing right now? I...
January 2011
1 post
Happy new year!
I woke up this morning with flu-like symptoms after a New Years weekend in Las Vegas. Let’s just say that Nyquil gelcaps, Advil, Tylenol, vodka, Woodford Reserve, rare prime rib, horseradish, and 48 straight hours of revelry in Sin City don’t mix very well.
However, this allows me to catch up a little bit on the blog before I collapse into a deep slumber. During the Hannukah season,...
December 2010
4 posts
Ama Ebi
Dear sushi proprietors:
Want to make your miso soup brim with honorable distinction?
Add a fried shrimp head to the broth.
Yours truly,
Harold
Prince of Persia
Supposedly one of the best Persian restaurants in the Los Angeles area is Raffi’s in Glendale. Unfortunately, I’ve hit a scheduling snag every time somebody makes it a point to go there for a two-and-a-half hour lunch.
So while the abgoosht may have to wait for now, I suppose I will have to settle for a large cup of rosewater saffron ice cream with pistachios at Mashti...
October 2010
2 posts
Don't judge me, okay?
Taco Bell cashier (TBC): “Hello can I help you?”
Me: “Yes, um, how do you do, maam. You can help me indeed.”
TBC: “Well…okay…do you want to order something?”
Me: “Yes, yes, of course. I would like a medium fountain drink and [muffles voice] an XXL chalupa.”
TBC: “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that…”
Me:...
September 2010
5 posts
Sorry New York, New York
Bedbug infestations. On-the-money Onion headline stories exposing your structural flaws. Unspeakable, horrific acts of terrorism.
New York, it admittedly hasn’t been an easy time for you in recent years. I love you. If you are privileged enough to have a modicum of free time and resources, you are truly an incredible city to visit. It therefore hurts me to kick you further when you...
Picture Says a Thousand Words
Surprisingly, the bar behind the Loteria stand at the Grove Farmer’s Market is actually a wonderful place to grab a pint of beer on a sunny, holiday weekend.
Ty Burrell and his baby apparently think so as well.
Dr. Obvious, PhD.
Los Angeles Magazine recently named Papa Cristos’ roasted lamb & feta sandwich as one of L.A.’s finest sarnies. Oh really, Los Angeles magazine? What’s your next headline story? ”Men Like Cleavage”? Or how about “Taylor Lautner is Gay”?
No shit, Sherlock. Eat up, fellas and give your order to the cashier who looks like an older version of Vinnie...
International House of Burgers
Kalbi Burger (www.kalbiburger.com)
We live in interesting times when I can march into a shack in L.A. and ask them to top off my burger with sauteed kimchi. While the Japanese Umami burger has taken the city by storm with its diminutive, yet powerfully flavorful hatch chile and truffle burgers, Koreans have counter-parried with their own culturally relevant short-rib beef patties at Kalbi...
August 2010
5 posts
Diabetes in a cup
Between Pizzeria Mozza and Jar Restaurant, which butterscotch budino is better? I don’t know, but I do know that I ate enough of Jars’ offering (pictured below) to put me into apoplectic shock. Instead of debating whether a mosque should be built at Ground Zero, can we instead focus on more relevant and important philosophical questions?
Ludo likes Asians
Even Ludo Lefebvre knows Park’s BBQ is the best. I wonder what his favorite pho place is.
It's about integrity, folks
Porto’s Bakery
The first question my friend Hayden lobbed toward the cashier-in-training was the following:
“Excuse me miss, but do you happen to carry Inca cola at this establishment?”
Casher-in-training [excitedly]: “Why yes we do!”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Hayden was just being a wiseass, but the delivery of sardonic wit tends to be the...
Sesame this, riddle me that
Is there anything better than a chunk of marbled shortrib rubbed with salt and sesame oil?
If you answered “yes”, please stab yourself in the eye with a fork.
July 2010
6 posts
